Win Back An Ex – The First Steps

If you have recently broken up and want to get back with your ex, the very first thing to do is to try to regain some sense of balance in your emotional state.

If not, you’ll be subject to acting on impulses that are fueled by the intense emotions of the breakup. Acting on these impulses will only make the process of reconciliation that much harder.

Win Back an EX

Once you’ve regained control, you will want to refrain from making any immediate contact with your ex. You’ll need some time to assess whether the relationship is truly worth being saved.

Do you have any serious doubts about getting back together with your ex? If this is the case, you ought to give it a lot of careful thinking before proceeding with this. Don’t forget the reasons for breaking up in the first place. Will they reoccur? If so, how will you approach this differently? Remember, modifying your behavior won’t come about overnight.

The Battle of the Sexes:

The biggest problem women have with men is that they will not listen.
The biggest problem men have with women is that women want to change them into someone they aren’t.
Women crave understanding and empathy while men always try to solve the problem instead.
Women want to change a man’s behavior by giving unwanted advice or by criticizing him.
Men want to change a woman’s mood when it is unpleasant. He tries to do this (of course) by seeking to fix the problem.
Advice to men: a woman is not a child so stop trying to make her unpleasantness go away by doing a quick fix.
Advice to women: a man is not a child so stop trying to correct and mold his behavior. It’s too late for that.

It seems senseless to continue if more fights and breakups happen in the future. Make sure that fear of the unknown, of loneliness, or of being single are not your true motivations for staying on. If a better relationship is right around the corner, there’s no need to get trapped in a poor one. The worse your current circumstances are, the better the odds that any change will be an improvement.

If you’ve decided that your relationship is worth saving, then the next assessment will be the most difficult: what was your contribution to the breakup? What personal shortcomings are at fault? For many people this type of self assessment will be next to impossible to make.

The problem is that anger makes you rationalize and justify your behavior. It always shifts the blame to someone else. You have to get free of this trap in order to make the required changes and adjustments. Have you ever seen two angry people insisting that the other person was in the right?

More Tips:

Once you’ve broken free from the anger trap, you’ll have to take responsibility for your contribution to the breakup. Only then will you be able to devise a plan for self improvement which is essential. Taking your share of the responsibility will also make you come across as mature which is a trait that most women value.

Remember that taking your share of the blame does not obligate her to do the same. Trying to force her to admit fault is an instant recipe for more conflict. You should never have any expectations of her doing this.

Any plans for self improvement will require a commitment on your part to make them stick. If you want your reconciliation with your ex to be permanent, then the changes and improvements you’ve made to yourself will have to be permanent. So don’t let old habits sabotage your efforts.

There is a popular book online that actually works. It’ll tell you how to get your ex back. See this review of The Magic of Making Up.

Tags: Win your ex back

Filed under break up advice by Marc

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Comments on Win Back An Ex – The First Steps

dawn perez @ 3:34 am

I know it’s my fault and it’s he’s ego and trust for me that gone away but i want to win my guy back. i love him so much and i can’t leave without him. we’ve been together for three years and i don’t know can i win him back.