Everyone craves affection and love, but in order to get it, they must be able to give it as well. Giving love may be a difficult thing for him so perhaps he only wants women who will readily give this love without demanding much in return. Hence his attraction to your emotional availability. I am struck by his demands of empathy from you while he doesn’t seem to posses it in any great abundance himself. I must warn you that this is only speculation on my part.

From what you have said, it sounds like he is the cause of most of the issues in your relationship.

It turns out that your comment was a good one and I do have a suggestion:

I agree with you that he is something more than just a friend. But he is also less than a romantic partner, otherwise she wouldn’t have wanted to get back with you again. She finds you the more desirable of the two. If this guy doesn’t have a girlfriend of his own then he could be trouble because his ultimate motivation in his continued association with your ex is probably more sex. So that’s the question here. Is your ex his love interest or is it someone else? If he is interested in someone else, then you needn’t worry about him. Find the answer to that and you can make your decision more easily.

One other thing that I read in this is that she may be finding something in her association with him that was lacking in her previous relationship with you. If you can also provide her with this “something” then she will have less reason to associate with him.

He appears to have adjusted to the breakup with the decision to move on. However, your recent communication has thrown a wrench into his resolve to move on. In all likelihood, there is a battle of emotions going on inside him at the moment. Anger about the breakup and repressed anger over how he was treated verses his love for you. Your admission of wrong opened the floodgates of repressed anger but your admission of continued love and desire for a relationship has also thrown weight on the love side of the equation. Hopefully he is one of those types who finds it difficult to stay angry at those he loves. One other thing to remember is that love and anger are flip sides of the same coin. If his response to you had been cold indifference, then it would have meant that his love for you is dead. But this is not the case, so you do have a chance. You will have to let this battle of emotions play itself out in your partner.

Remember that your actions must be consistent with your new turn of leaf. Actions are more powerful than words on so many levels. Words can still do plenty of damage but the right consistent actions over time can do a lot of healing. Gestures of love are very powerful.

Does it sound like my mistake has cost me the relationship forever? I feel conflicted because though I wish we had never broken up, I don’t think I would have realized the depth of my feelings, nor my own faults without it happening. I feel comfortable with how I’ve handled our conversation and would like to ask you for some advice on how to stay firm to that. Half of me is fighting to try to please my case and keep explaining how I feel to him, but I know that this is not the correct way to go about things. I think perhaps your (again very insightful) advice could help to keep me from doing or saying something stupid and chasing him away.