The Stages Of A Relationship – What To Expect In The Times Ahead
If you’ve just met someone and the chemistry is very strong, you’re probably thoroughly infatuated with this person.
Most people in this situation will not be thinking about the different stages of a relationship that most couples go through.
But having a good understanding of the stages of a relationship will allow you to know where you are right now.
You will be able to anticipate the future and hopefully you can influence things for the better.
Stage One: The Honeymoon
The first stage of a relationship is intensely exciting. You’re swept up in the excitement and romance of it all and life couldn’t get any better. Sexual attraction is strong and the chemistry of bonding has flooded your brain.
Differences are unimportant during the first stage. If anything, you may even find these differences endearing.
You’re more focused on getting to know one another and sharing your lives together. This is known as the romantic or honeymoon stage. Like anything that is fresh and new, the budding relationship is fun, exciting, and adventurous.
Stage Two: The Reality Show
The next stage typically makes or breaks a relationship. It’s called the reality stage when the newness wears off and you start to realize who this other person really is.
The differences between you become more apparent and take on greater importance. Both persons in the relationship start to notice that the other is failing to meet many of their needs.
- The longer you pursue someone, the greater the chance that love will blossom. So if it’s love you want, it is best to avoid having sex too early in the relationship.
- Love and fear have similar effects on the body: an elevated heart rate, sweaty hands, and dilated pupils.
- Couples who have been together for years become more alike. Their personalities and intelligence converge.
- Being in love stimulates nerve growth, resulting in improved nervous system function and memory.
- Typical dating mistakes include tardiness, talking too much about yourself, and being too eager.
- The simple act of being around someone on a daily basis can stimulate love. Hence the explanation for office relationships.
The ‘reality’ of the relationship can be a let down because many of your expectations haven’t been met. In addition, the newness and the activity level of the first stage have also dropped off. This further contributes to the feeling of being let down.
It is important during this stage to step back and realize that people are only human. No one can be the perfect mate. You already know that you’re flawed, so why find fault in your partner’s flaws?
Understanding and honest communication is important. You must also understand that any attempt at molding or changing your partner into your perfect mate will fail. This very often leads to a break up.
If you and your partner can make it through this stage intact, then your chances of having a long lasting relationship have greatly improved.
If you’re interested in a proven method for getting your girl back, read my review of The Magic of Making Up.
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Comments on The Stages Of A Relationship – What To Expect In The Times Ahead
nonki i think youre best to move on too, he even told you he hasnt been able to find anyone else yet which means he thought about it. why would you say that at all if he thought you were the one for him and it would work out in the end? it sounds like he thought youd be around to take him back whenever he needs someone to drop back on which is why hes suprised that you were strong and made a decision to move on
Long distance is very hard
Hi Nonki. You are both university students engaged in a long distance relationship and can only see each other once every three months. Getting him back under those circumstances would be very difficult. His situation that you have little influence over (because of the distance) has evolved in a way that has cooled his feelings for you. If you did succeed in getting him back, you would be back in the long distance relationship that was the primary reason for the break up in the first place. I think you were right in wanting to move on. I’m sure that life at the university you are at can be a rich, enjoyable, and even a romantic one.
Hi. My ex boyfriend broke up with me a month ago. We were a long-distance couple and would only see eachother every 3 months. This was the primary reason for our break up. Before breaking up with me, we went through a rough patch for two months. We are both university students and his course is extremely stressful on him, which caused us to communicate less as the year progressed and workload became more stressful. In the 2 months before our breakup, he barely called, I did all the calling, but we tried keeping in touch every 2nd day or so over chat sites. I’m close with his friends and they would tell me that he’s crazy about me, but I felt like things had changed. After some time, he asked if we could take a break so as to sort out our personal problems. After a week of not talking to eachother, I panicked and we sorted things out. A month later, he broke up with me. It was very painful for me, because I still believe that this man is the one for me. He claims that I’m the one for him, but we need to be apart to work on ourselves as individuals. There’s personal stuff that he doesn’t want to go into with me, he would tell me that he doesn’t want to make his problems my own. He wanted us to remain friends and continue to communicate. So we have been texting eachother and chatting. But things just aren’t the same anymore, I couldn’t handle not talking to him as his girlfriend anymore, so I told him that I need to erase him from my life in order to move on. He did not understand this, he asked me why? And am I sure of my decision, he even told me that he hasn’t been able to find someone else. But when I asked him whether he was sure of his decision after we had broken up- he replied by saying that he is positive about his decision and that things are gonna work out the way we want, he prayed about it. Do you think there is still a chance for us, especially after cutting all contact with him, could he still come back, or is it time for me to just let go of him and accept that maybe he really does not want to be with me?