When you’ve just broken up with your ex, your system is under a lot of emotional stress. Nature has wired our brains so that extreme stress makes us act first and think later. Unfortunately, this doesn’t work so well if you’re trying to get your ex back.
Unless you’re an expert on dealing with break ups, your impulses will take you down the wrong path. Heated emotions will cause bad judgement which leads to poor decisions. Simply being aware of the usual mistakes that people make and staying calm will start things off right.
1.) Never speak badly about your ex. Less than nice things about her can get blurted out when you’re stressed. It may make you feel better because you’re venting off some steam.
Depending on who and how many people overhear, that little slip of the tongue will get back to your ex. Getting her back will be hard enough. Don’t make it even harder.
2.) Try to avoid arguing about the break up. Doing this works against you in a number of ways. First, both of you need to cool off some and incessant arguing just fans the flames.
Also, arguing against the breakup can flip you into anger mode or pleading mode. Using anger against her won’t intimidate her, it’ll make things worse. Pleading will make her wonder why you are so desperate.
Desperation equates to lacking confidence, being dependent, and being easy to get. These aren’t the qualities of the ideal male.
3.) Don’t ever allow yourself to slip into a panic mode where you allow your impulses to take over. While you’re in this state, your actions are mindless reactions that are driven by your fears, your anger, and maybe some adrenaline. The thinking part of your brain is largely being bypassed.
A panicked deer on a highway will often bolt straight into a car. The same panic mechanism will also happen in most people. You must not do anything at all until you’ve calmed down and are thinking clearly.
4.) Don’t apologize excessively. Owning up to your mistakes in a mature fashion is good. But don’t get carried away by assuming all of the blame for everything that went wrong.
Unless you really are to blame for all that went wrong, doing this will diminish your worth to her.
5.) You may be feeling down and out after your break up, but don’t let yourself look the part. The image that you project to your ex will decide how feasible or impossible it will be to win her over. So remain well groomed and dressed, and keep those extra pounds off your waist.
6.) Don’t do any pleading or begging. This will only diminish your worth to her because it puts you in a position of weakness. There’s nothing attractive about looking desperate and pathetic.
Remember that confidence, strength, and maturity are male attributes that women like. Pleading is often portrayed in the movies as a grand romantic gesture. But in real life, you will only win her contempt.
More Tips:
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Filed under break up advice by admin
