The things that can go wrong in a relationship seem to be endless. Given the differences between the sexes, friction is inevitable. Sometimes the conflicts are so frequent and violent that a permanent breakup is the best thing to do.
Often however, couples break up for silly little reasons that blow up over time. You can avoid this by recognizing and dealing with the following most common reasons for a breakup.
All of these reasons stem from self centeredness and can be avoided by remembering that you are part of a couple. Your concerns must include those of your partner as well as your own.
1.) Not caring about or expressing care for the feelings of your partner. When you are troubled by something or if something fantastic has happened, you’d naturally want to share this with your partner. Imagine him or her not listening or bothering to respond. How would this make you feel?
Remember, you’re part of a couple now, the concerns of the other are your concerns as well. The key here is listening and thoughtfully responding.
2.) Being a control freak. Relationships aren’t perfect democracies. It’s only natural that there will be a dominant person in the couple. This is largely determined by the personality types involved. When the dominant member over does it, the relationship stands on rocky ground. No one wants to be treated as a slave or a robot.
There are many reasons for controlling behavior, most of which are pathological. If you find yourself doing this, stop it right now. Understand that your partner is a person with needs that you should be concerned about.
3.) Cheating on your partner. This is a very serious offense that in many circumstances is unforgivable. In addition to the emotional trauma that you’ll be causing, you’re also exposing your partner to disease.
If you find that you can’t control this very base instinct, you don’t belong in any relationship. You should resign yourself to remaining a solitary individual for the rest of your life.
4.) Lack of fun and spontaneity. This is often the fate of many relationships. After you’ve spent a lot of time with another person, they become so familiar that boredom slowly creeps in. Everything requires maintenance over time and your relationship is no exception. If you want your love to remain strong you’ll have to put some energy and imagination into keeping it enjoyable.
5.) Allowing arguments and fights to escalate out of control. A little self restraint now and then is never a bad thing. Diplomacy can be useful as well. A small unresolvable issue can really blow up over time.
It’s best to understand why the same argument keeps surfacing and to do something about it. Arguments in general are normal but be careful not to allow them to become a habit. They can get worse in severity if both partners get reactive or ‘touchy’. If the fight is over a small matter then just give in. There’s no shame in agreeing to take the trash out.
Filed under break up advice by admin
