1.) Try not to let your emotions and impulses pull you along when dealing with your ex. Ideally you want some sort of a well thought out plan to follow. At the very least, allow yourself to calm down and carefully take things one step at a time.

This piece of advice is easier said than done but ignoring it can really set your efforts back. The problem with your impulses is that they’re primed by deep seated fears as well as your current emotional state. These fears and emotions are often negative which can lead to actions that produce self defeating results.

2.) Giving your ex lots of attention right after a break up may make sense when you’re panic stricken. But that’s only because a panic state fills you with an incredible sense of urgency to fix the problem right now at any cost. From her point of view, you will come across as desperate and even a little crazy.

So it’s best to lay off all of the phone calls and text messaging. And to allow the situation as well as yourself, a little time to cool down.

3.) Using threats is a strategy that’s not likely to work anytime soon. Most people respond by getting angry and giving you their piece of mind. Winning someone’s love is all about attraction while threats are a form of coercion.

4.) There’s a fine line between determined effort and stalking. If your pursuit goes beyond what’s considered to be normal behavior, you’re stalking. This will only scare her off and possibly land you in jail.

5.) It’s late at night and you’re feeling an intense need to call her. You’re feeling very lonely and maybe have some alcohol in you. Try your best not to call her up.

There’s at least two reasons for not calling her. One is that it’s an impulse call made when you’re feeling emotionally weak. Who knows what you’ll end up saying.

The other reason is that you’ll seem desperate and needy. Unless she’s turned on by those qualities, it’s a bad idea.

6.) Don’t get resentful and angry with your ex’s friends and relatives. It is only natural that they’ll side with your ex and gossip about you. Keeping the peace with them will make efforts at getting her back easier.

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When you’ve just broken up with your ex, your system is under a lot of emotional stress. Nature has wired our brains so that extreme stress makes us act first and think later. Unfortunately, this doesn’t work so well if you’re trying to get your ex back.

Unless you’re an expert on dealing with break ups, your impulses will take you down the wrong path. Heated emotions will cause bad judgement which leads to poor decisions. Simply being aware of the usual mistakes that people make and staying calm will start things off right.

1.) Never speak badly about your ex. Less than nice things about her can get blurted out when you’re stressed. It may make you feel better because you’re venting off some steam.

Depending on who and how many people overhear, that little slip of the tongue will get back to your ex. Getting her back will be hard enough. Don’t make it even harder.

2.) Try to avoid arguing about the break up. Doing this works against you in a number of ways. First, both of you need to cool off some and incessant arguing just fans the flames.

Also, arguing against the breakup can flip you into anger mode or pleading mode. Using anger against her won’t intimidate her, it’ll make things worse. Pleading will make her wonder why you are so desperate.

Desperation equates to lacking confidence, being dependent, and being easy to get. These aren’t the qualities of the ideal male.

3.) Don’t ever allow yourself to slip into a panic mode where you allow your impulses to take over. While you’re in this state, your actions are mindless reactions that are driven by your fears, your anger, and maybe some adrenaline. The thinking part of your brain is largely being bypassed.

A panicked deer on a highway will often bolt straight into a car. The same panic mechanism will also happen in most people. You must not do anything at all until you’ve calmed down and are thinking clearly.

4.) Don’t apologize excessively. Owning up to your mistakes in a mature fashion is good. But don’t get carried away by assuming all of the blame for everything that went wrong.

Unless you really are to blame for all that went wrong, doing this will diminish your worth to her.

5.) You may be feeling down and out after your break up, but don’t let yourself look the part. The image that you project to your ex will decide how feasible or impossible it will be to win her over. So remain well groomed and dressed, and keep those extra pounds off your waist.

6.) Don’t do any pleading or begging. This will only diminish your worth to her because it puts you in a position of weakness. There’s nothing attractive about looking desperate and pathetic.

Remember that confidence, strength, and maturity are male attributes that women like. Pleading is often portrayed in the movies as a grand romantic gesture. But in real life, you will only win her contempt.

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