Surviving A Breakup – A Rebound Relationship Is Not The Answer

A break up is painful on many levels.

This pain is especially intense for the person who was dumped.

He or she is caught up in the pain of loss.

When your life is built up around a relationship, you get used to the good things that the relationship brings into your life.

The bonding between you and the other person consists of thousands of connections that your psyche has grown accustomed to.

After the break up, these connections are severed, leaving feelings of emptiness. Now, it is an understandable desire to want to rush into another relationship.

But the rebound relationship is almost always a bad idea because it often leads to yet another break up which starts the cycle of break up pain all over again. The reason is that this new relationship that you’ve run to is really just an escape from the pain and loneliness of the break up.

It has little to do with the new person with whom you are involved. It is an attempt to distract yourself away from the pain of breaking up. This other person is being used like one would use a drug to numb out pain. Some insecure people will use rebound relationships to prove to themselves that they are still lovable.

The healthiest approach is to become self sufficient and comfortable with living on your own first before becoming romantically involved again. Reacquaint yourself with the benefits of being free of attachments. The demands and sacrifices of your past relationship have been lifted, so use your freedom to do whatever you want.

Remember that there was a time in your life before the relationship when you were also happy. There are always pro’s and con’s to everything in life. The secret to happiness is enjoying the pro’s of the situation that you find yourself in, learning from mistakes, and moving on. If you find this difficult to do, get the support you need from your family and friends or join a support group.

After the most of the pain of break up is behind you, it is then time to start dating again. Don’t be afraid to take risks. If there is someone who doesn’t seem to be your type, ask the person out anyway. You can’t make a true judgement about someone until after you get to know them. Play the field and invite out a variety of people before becoming involved in any one person. When you do find that special someone, be sure to apply the lessons learned from past mistakes to your new relationship.

Remember that a healthy relationship is one that adds to your life. Starting a relationship in order to fill in an emotional hole is a recipe for another break up. It just means more pain for you and it isn’t fair to the other person.

If you’re interested in a proven method for getting back your ex, read my review of The Magic of Making Up.

Related posts:

1. Overcoming Relationship Breakup – 4 Steps To Stop The Pain And Get On With Your Life
2. Four Break Up Signs – Hard Times Ahead For Your Relationship?
3. How to Keep Your Relationship Strong for the Long Term
4. Building Trust: A Relationship Is On Quicksand Without It
5. The Stages Of A Relationship – What To Expect In The Times Ahead