Making Peace With Your Woman – 4 Vital Tips For Resolving Conflict
If you’re in a relationship that has potential, that is worth saving, then this article is for you.
There are many instances of breakups between couples that need not have happened.
Often these are the result of small things and oversights repeated over time until the problem blows up and gets out of control.
If there’s a lot of friction in your relationship over small little things, then it’s time to do something constructive about it.
Decide right now if you’re ready to put into action, the following steps:
1.) Identify the cause of the problem.
The causes of some problems are obvious such as kids, annoying habits, or money problems. Perhaps your partner isn’t shy about telling you what bugs her.
Often, fights or chronic moodiness have causes that are difficult to put a finger on. Sometimes the problem itself is subtle such as a vague feeling that you are drifting apart. There may be less passion, romance, or physical affection.
Circumstances like these will demand intense effort on your part to get to the root cause. Don’t assume at the onset that you are or your partner is entirely at fault.
It may be that she is justified at being angry with you or vice versa. Often, both parties are at fault. Sometimes one person is at fault but the other person is reacting to the problem in an unreasonable way.
Total honesty is essential here. Personal ego or insecurities can bias your thinking and lead you to the wrong diagnosis. If you get the diagnosis wrong, the problem will never be solved.
2.) Choose your battles wisely.
If you think that your life and your relationship is supposed to be a hassle free, picture perfect fairy tale, then you will never be happy. Impossible expectations always lead to disappointment.
If your partner insists on you taking out the trash or she needs to watch a television show that you absolutely hate, it isn’t worth fighting over. We make compromises in all aspects of our lives especially in our relationships. We do so because relationships are important. They are worth it.
However, if your partner is causing serious money or social problems or if she is inflicting serious hurt or making you feel rejected, then you need to speak out before this hurt turns into deep seated resentment. Issues like these must be nipped in the bud before they cause serious damage.
3.) Timing is everything.
Pick a good time to bring up an issue that needs to be discussed. If she’s tired, stressed out, or upset, she will not have the emotional reserves to cope with a serious problem. Pick a time of the day when she’s more receptive. Avoid being blunt or pouncing on her. Instead, choose your words carefully and ease into the discussion gently. Avoid using the cliche “we need to talk”.
4.) Be gentle with her.
Exercise restraint and care. Don’t be insulting, critical, or impatient. Remember that she’s your lover, not a competitor or rival at the office. There’s no single winner or loser here. Either you both win or you both lose.
Aggression, anger, or being tough, will only create greater resistance in her. No one ever responds favorably to coercion. There’s a world of difference between a powerful man who acts with restraint and love and a weak man who overcompensates with aggression.
If conflict has broken up your relationship, it doesn’t have to be the end. With the help of the right guide, it is still possible to get her back. See my review of The Magic of Making Up.
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