How To Stay In Love For A Lifetime

Getting older means getting wiser. The brain is like a computer that has an enormous capacity to learn from life’s experiences.

This is normally a good thing but the more you know about things and people, the less mystery there is to life. The world around you seems to be predictable and sometimes even boring.

love
Photo by Erin Purcell.

However, this is only true of ‘your world’. The world at large is a big place and a single lifetime isn’t enough to experience everything that it has to offer.

As we gain more experience with life, we tend to settle into comfortable routines that can become monotonous.

There are many reasons why we do this. Getting older means there’s less time and energy for exploration because of our growing responsibilities. Our comfortable routines work well so we automatically default to them in the interest of getting things done with the least expenditure of time and effort.

So what does any of this have to do with maintaining a long term relationship? The answer is that while comfortable routines are useful for getting to work every morning or paying the bills, they shouldn’t dominate or limit our lives. We mustn’t let them define our love relationship with our partner. You need to make an effort to keep romance alive.

Three Romantic Pointers:

Use a little variety. Don’t repeat the same old worn out romantic gesture over and over. The familiar and the routine kills romance. Knowing a lot of ways of expressing romance will make you seem more spontaneous.
Even the smallest of gestures can have a powerful effect if you haven’t used them before. Picking some wild flowers on the way home from work and presenting them to her is an example of this.
Try kissing your partner very slowly while touching the back and neck. Alternatively you can cradle the face in your hands while kissing. Try doing this in the rain.

Mechanical routines kill romance. Romance demands thoughtfulness, fun, excitement, eroticism, and some creativity. Why are “firsts” such as your first kiss considered romantic moments? The reason is that the experience was new and involved some risk and was not something that was done hundreds of times before. The experience was anything but comfortable. It was exciting, it made the heart pound, it stimulated the chemistry of love.

Spend more time alone together and have fun. Recall the sweet thoughtful things that you did when first getting to know each other and do them again. Don’t wait for special occasions to exchange gifts, take walks, dine in romantic restaurants or quote poetry. Remember to mix things up a little, add some variety. If you succeed in making your partner feel good, you will feel good.

Looking for a proven method for winning back your partner? Read my review of The Magic of Making Up.