If handled in the right way, most breakups don’t have to be final. The fact is, couples are getting back together all the time.
The bad news is that many breakups remain permanent. Often because they were handled badly by one or both of the partners.
Because the heart often takes the driver’s seat in a breakup, people will go with their gut instincts.
This makes them do things that worsen the situation. Here are five tips to get you started on the right track.
1.) Control Your Anger
When anger takes hold, it is very hard to contain especially when your partner is telling you it’s all your fault. Venting your anger or trying to prove that your partner is wrong will make the break up a very messy affair. You don’t want to reinforce her decision to leave you by bringing on more bad feelings. Don’t give her more reasons for leaving you. Doing so will make it much harder to get your girl back.
2.) Don’t Give In To Fear
Fear and panic impair judgment just as much as alcohol does. Fear preys on your insecurities and makes you do a lot of things that aren’t very smart. I don’t mean this as an insult because it happens to everyone in very stressful situations. Desperation can cause some people stalk their ex, send endless text messages, or make phone calls at any time of the day or night. While making contact with your ex at some point is vital to getting her back, it has to be made at the proper time and carefully planned. This isn’t going to happen if you’re making these calls while in a state of panic.
3.) Don’t Devalue Yourself
Devaluation is a lessening of worth. Many of us tend to lose respect for people that try too hard to make us like them. Begging her to come back, pleading that you’ll do anything she says, or getting down on your knees and professing your undying love will turn her off. She knows you are just saying this to get her to change her mind. It also makes you appear weak. These are not the actions of an attractive, strong, and confident male. This doesn’t mean that you should insist on having everything your own way. Compromise and being reasonable is necessary but it must be done in the right way.
4.) Don’t Shower Her With Gifts, Flowers, or Love Notes
This should not be your first response to the breakup. This won’t resolve any of the core reasons for the breakup. She will see this as a simple and transparent attempt at winning her favor and will make you seem desperate. A romantic gesture is only effective when it is made at the right time under the right circumstances.
5.) Logic And Debate Will Not Work
Relationships are about feelings and emotions, so you won’t get her back with logic or with a debate. There is nothing more annoying than someone picking apart your arguments and trying to checkmate you into agreeing with them. This tactic will only lead an angry fight.
As was mentioned previously, getting back together is possible in many cases. However, this doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy. By following the above tips you avoid making it even harder. A complete step by step guide for the entire process called the Magic of Making Up is reviewed here.