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Four Break Up Signs – Hard Times Ahead For Your Relationship?

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Before a disaster strikes, a storm hits, or something that’s just plain bad happens, there are almost always warning signs.

How often do you hear people say: “if only we had heeded the warning signs”. This is true of political events, storms, bridge collapses, and of relationship break ups.

break up signs

A word of warning. If you are prone to paranoia, don’t read this article. You must bear in mind that the points made here address changes in behavior that were not normal for your partner in the past. Also, the more points that apply to your relationship the more likely it’s in trouble.

1.) Do You Fight Over The Smallest Of Things?

An occasional argument is normal. But habitual fighting is a bad sign.

Blowing up over small, silly little things all the time means there is a more serious problem that you as a couple don’t want to face. Is fear of a break up keeping you together? Or is it something else that should be addressed immediately?

2.) Is Your Partner Avoiding You?

This type of behavior takes on many forms but ultimately it means that she’s never around and can’t be reached. An unreachable partner is good reason for concern.

The most common examples of avoidance occurs through the medium of phones and cell phones. Do you find that she never picks up when you call or that she never responds to your voice mail? Do you find that you are seeing less of her because she’s “never around”?

Related facts you may not know about:

  • The average new relationship normally lasts three to five months. Then the excitement and passion wears off and relationship issues start to surface leading to a break up.
  • There are several common signs that can show when a woman is cheating on a man. She doesn’t text you as much as she used to, she stops nagging you about the usual things, she no longer wants foreplay, she tells you more about her day than usual (women cover up by talking more while men talk less), she is nervous and super fidgety around you.

3.) Been Demoted To “Chopped Liver” Status?

This means that everyone and everything else is more important than you. For example, her calendar is always too full to accommodate you.

This is a very painful and demeaning situation to be trapped in. She has all but literally kicked you out of her life. Even if you haven’t broken up yet, you might as well be.

4.) Has She Stopped Doing Things You Used To Enjoy Together?

Perhaps she would rather do them by herself or with someone else? This is a major indication of discontent and should be dealt with immediately.

If you have already suffered a breakup with your girlfriend and want to win her back, see my review of The Magic of Making Up

Related posts:

  1. The Stages Of A Relationship – What To Expect In The Times Ahead
  2. Break Up Pain – How To Move Past A Painful Break Up
  3. Twelve Signs That Your Ex wants You Back
  4. Five Common Reasons Couples Break Up
  5. Surviving A Breakup – A Rebound Relationship Is Not The Answer

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amanda @ 12:46 pm #

yes this is so true i feel this way right now and i dont know how to handle it.. i love him so much but he seems like he’s changing alot. but we do both got stress on our hands but other then that then he changed a lot. being distant from each other when we are in the same room is not really helpful i dont know what to do i need help someone if u could help that would be great i just dont want to loose him..

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Jeff @ 6:52 am #

Me and my GF and displayed 3/4 signs. She just broke up with me, because im not being the man i used to be, i know i can do better. 10 months and one day. We went through a period of two months where we always fought, about the smallest things. We didnt have as much time to do anything like we used too. reasons for this being our lazyness or other obsticles. And we stopped doing things we enjoyed, due to money isses. Being in a relationship is hard work. It truely is, i just wished i found this page before this breakup happened. This really hurts me because i truely love her, and somewhere along the road i got used to having her around and figured she was permenent. I forgot that it is a privelledge to have someone who truely loves you like she did love me. she is a true thing of beauty. The saying “you dont know what you got till its gone” is soo true.

She gave me unconditional love, i gave it back, for a few months and then i just got lazy, and lazy, and lazy. I dont call her back when i was sapossted too, when i would call her before bed, i used to talk to her for hours. When i called her before bed for the last month and a half, we have been talking from anywhere from 5-20 mins maximum. i really wish things would go back to the way they were. I truely love this woman, she is great, and i have f#%!@d up, and have awknowledged the fact that i have, and all i want is her back, dont make the mistake i have folks. Hold onto your loved ones, because you dont know how long they will be there. Believe me if i got a second chance i would spend the rest of my life making it up to her. Because i dont deserve a chance, i have had plenty and i blew it.

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Ivana @ 5:47 pm #

Hi I had broked up with my ex boyfriend from last year, things really awful, no communctiation, he keep stright work allday and come home for no time lover, or do anything with me like a fun together with my childern…I take care of my kids for 24/7 and he dont do anything but he do help change a diapers that all what he can do. I keep funny with my stomch, he stop kiss my cheeck before he go work since 2 year. we was together almost 5 year. I have no idea why he stop and i keep ask him hows day blahh…he keep said ok i need go sleep. i feel whatever ok…its thing not work for us…thats time I giving up and cant stand this anymore cuz i Need communcation, or something to do fun what I want with my childern i dont want keep forever no thanks! so I told him this not work for us, then last min, he beg me and want to stay together, i will do anything I promise. you think it will be real? I dont believe myself cuz i know he will keep me like a slave…I dont want to…I leaving him and take my childern…he act babycry and call me often, beg and want family again. Since year, I date someone…He is great man to me and my childern he take us to all we want…he want to see childern happy. its work on communcation, he keep chat with my kids , play alot with them, watch tv together, eat family together…this is what i really want. my kids seem love him so much. my boyfriend work for half time, and sometimes on depond full day. I dont mind cuz he keep come home and still want to do together…i am really happy with that…we are togther for almost 2 year right now. i know relationship really hard but try my best on that cuz i want see my childern happy and accpet for who man is will alway with me in my heart.

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Marc @ 11:31 am #

That was well put. Thank you Mike.

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Mike @ 4:05 am #

One last item. never assume she is seeing another man. this question never came up in our separation. a new relationship takes time and energy with a whole new set of problems. Typically, it is never another man. Typically it is the relationship she is in. So never accuse, never assume, and start looking inward, there is where you will find all of your answers. You may not like what you see and if you do not like it then bingo you have the reasons why she left. Ask yourself this, who wants to live a life of feeling miserable. The time to act is before she leaves, but if you miss the tell tale signs, the time to act is immediatly. Do NOT waste valuable time because you will surly lose her.

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Mike @ 3:56 am #

I will keep it short and sweet. I was married for 25 years and when I was out of town my wife left me. At first I was angry, very angry. I seemed to have played into this emotion to easily. After a few days I started to focus on the things that were wrong. You have to realize during this period she would not even take my calls. The lady she was living with made her feel very confortable there. But as always it was not her home. Things that I focused on were myself (health, weight, job, family and my children who are over 18) I told my wife that I am not dating, and the reason why I am not dating is because we are still married. At first she was reluctant to believe this nor did she care. Here is what I found out, I had to feel her sorry (empathy) I had to put myself in her place and understand where she was. I also had to take the time to understand that love is just not another 4 letter word. Love is about pride, feeling intimate, sharing, interest, joy, serentity and hope. Hope that things will change. You have to set the course of your ship. You have to belive what you doing is right and never put your wife or yourself in a position of feeling devalued. When I wife leaves this is a major decision. Basically he is giving everything up that she know and she is confortable with. Mine even saw an attorney. When I first saw her she looked horrible, so please realize when your wife leaves she is not having a good time. She is in a bad place. Start showing her you care. She is going to be angry with you, but do not fight back. Two mad people make life unbearable. You will not ice by being nice you will begin to change her behavior toward you. I rememeber our first date after the break up, we went to a winery, the first words out of her mouth was dont F##k with me. I said nothing and proceed to enjoy her company and hang out, we said nothing until we finished the fourth bottle of wine. We stayed for six hours, I realized she would not have stayed if she did not enjoy my company. Now several weeks later even though we been separated for 6 weeks, she is going to spend every day on this weekend with me. My message is simple, it takes time to build trust again, it takes time to throw out the old ideas and bring in new ideas. Listen to what she says. she will tell you whats broken. Fight for your marriage, after all she is your wife. One thing for certain, do not remove anything from her that would be hers if she was your wife. if you do that you are cutting the ties that bind you together. I have since decided to sell our home I told her and the next home I am buying is an estate, I have improved myself imensly. I have turned down several dates. I am will to give this a chance, so you have to move two plans in the same direction. You have to prepare for the end as well for a new relationship with your wife. Either which way you are getting your life back together and when she sees the train pulling our of the station she will either get on board or tell you to leave. either way a decision was made and you will have the opportunity to get over the heartache that was just presented to you.

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Wendy @ 12:35 am #

Dear jessica
I understand how your feeling.. He wants to turn off from you. He was scared to tell you something what he is doing.. He don’t want to hurt your feeling. He may looking someone else. He is looking for attractive woman. He wants to be true love and who understand him. It not mean to spending a good time.. Most woman think that spending time it may be longer good relationship. That’s not true. For examles, feeling of continuous frustation about the emotion, emotion abuse, and growing feelings empty, extreme distance or totally cut off former close relationship you used to have with your friends or family, poor relationship that he may not satisfied.

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Wendy @ 12:25 am #

Dear Preshy
He seem not interesting in you,because he is going to see someone else. He don’t want you to know “man keep secret in mind” He can’t tell you how or why he did not give you some have a fun or whatever it is. Also He dont want to hear word “I love you ” more than that.He not may interesting to hear say repeat..Because He already know before you say. Give him space time, because he needs space time when he felt right time and he will come back to you and then he will says, “love you” Don’t beg or running over him.. if you beg him go back with you again.. He just like pretend to be with you, you know? I know this is not easy. Also did you know that man don’t like woman who nagging or bad attitude, it make him lost interesting. Yes, that’s true.

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Wendy @ 12:16 am #

@gone: I believe he wants to space time and distanct from you. he don’t want to hurt your feelings. He rather to distanct and let his feeling to turn on love, you know? He can’t tell you how he felt like limit time. Did you recongize these woman tell how they felt like emotion feeling. Man did not want to share with their emotion feeling, just limit. Because man want anyone who can understand man’s feeling instead of telling, you know?

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Wendy @ 12:11 am #

My ex- boyfriend and I were together for 7 years. We’re broke up last years ago. He wanted to broke up with me, because we’re have alot problem often. I told him that I need some time space. I felt not comforty around him, because I felt funny something in my stomach it really bother me alot. I found out that he talked with his ex-girlfriend in school everyday.Plus he talked with his good friendship Devaor in text like deep love things whiling he was with me in relationship. I don’t do nothing with him, I did not cheated on him since. I know he felt guilty and made mistake, because he kept liar me alot. This is not good idea. I noticed him to changed his behavior not normal before. I told him that I decided to walk away from him. I will never see him again. I told him that go back with his ex-girlfriend and Devaor too. In few months in later, he asked me that he wants to work out with me for beginning a new life in future. He asked me for an apologize. I accept his forgive in matter. He won’t let me go. He says,” He will spy and following on me whatever I go somewhere.” Also he not let me to date with other guy, because he may became jealous :) He and I were dicuss about the relationship, because he need to learn to understand about woman’s perspective. Also I need to learn about man’s perpsective, and woman and man are not same perspective.He gave me a space time! That’s right. God created these man and woman are different on level. I believed that magic itself when he was turing on me again. But I’m not running over him! Right now we’re best friend and continue to work out again no matter what.

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gone @ 5:41 pm #

preshy this is wht happened with me, i gave him an ultimatum he left and is now in a relathionship two wks later…we lived together for a yr…he decided he didnt want so muc commitment :/

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Preshy @ 5:27 pm #

Am always havin problem wit my bf,he doesnt giv me attention,we dnt go out,he always give me d excuse dt he doesnt hv time,bt he spend time wit his friends and himself.does it mean dt he dont love me again,bt he said he do!or do i love him more than he love me?pls somebody help?am dam cofused here.

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ivone f. @ 7:59 am #

i completely know what you mean. ive been with my bf for 9mnths now and seems like he gets mad or fustrated with anything. seems to want to hang out a lot more with other friends. he has a way of making me completely happy one moment and crush me th next. dont know if the good days we have are enough to keep us from breaking up. this is just an emotional roller coaster i want out of but i dont know if its time yet…

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janet perez @ 12:16 am #

i have been in a relashinship for a year idk if i should break with him i feel like sometimes we fight some much that idk i feel like i do want to be with somebody how i can relate 2 i feel like sometimes we are different people when we fight i feel like i hate him but i feel like sometimes i love him yeah i do i feel like he does not love me that much i feel like i should just call it off i just sigh too much sometimes i get depressed over it dude i really do

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beny @ 9:37 am #

try waitn n c mayb ther somethngs dat r makn hm act like dat…

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Jessica C @ 11:01 pm #

very true..i am in a relationship right now that seems like it will end up as a break up. I have read these 4 signs and two of the signs are in check. My boyfriend and I have been together for about a two months. We also been single for awhile before so perhaps its just getting use to the “relationship status” Even though he says all the right things and I’m happy but then I cannot get ahold of him, he doesn’t return all my calls, and we hardly spend any time together. Also, everything and everyone else seems more important to him then seeing and spending time with me. So is it going to have a tragic ending? I want to have a show of love and caring from him but he’s always gone. So I’m I just paranoid or just speaking of the truth? Either way I’m in a confusion on what to do now.

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