Can Simple Thoughts Hurt Your Relationship?

Think that your private thoughts have no effect on your partner? That if you keep them to yourself, no one will be the wiser?

Well think again. While it’s true that the odd stray thought stays private, a recurring thought or feeling about your partner will impact both her and you as a couple.

Recurring thoughts eventually become a belief or an attitude. With enough time, that belief or attitude will show itself in your behavior and in your words.

It can’t be helped because it’s inevitable. You may be able to contain it for now, but one day, it will leak out.

It only takes some time and a stressful moment to cause you to blurt it out.

Even if you never say anything to her about it, she will pick up on it through your behavior and your actions. Trust me, there are a million and one subtle ways for your feelings or attitude about someone to leak out.

This phenomenon happens all the time at the workplace. If you’ve ever had a job and boss that you absolutely despise, sooner or later, you will start saying things to others in your workplace that reflect your attitude. Even if you stay tight lipped about it, your attitude and lack of enthusiasm will leak out. With time, your boss and others will pick up on this.

If the focus of your thoughts about someone are negative, they will influence your behavior and will have negative consequences. The opposite of this is also true. If your thoughts about someone are positive, then good things will happen.

Some thoughts about thoughts:

Your thoughts have a powerful influence on you and on the people around you.
They affect how you feel and how you act. Because they affect your actions, they affect the people around you.
Over the course of your lifetime, your thoughts mold you as a person, they mold your relationships, and your career.
Your thoughts have control over you and you have control over them.
The reflexive, uncontrolled thoughts that dominate the minds of most people are called brain chatter. They are also called monkey brain chatter or simply the monkey brain.
Information overload scatters the mind and prevents prolonged single minded focus on any particular thing. Without this focus, difficult problems can’t be solved. Creative insights will never happen.

Are you happy as a couple? If so then don’t obsess over your partner’s imperfections. Small things about her behavior, appearance, dress, musical tastes, etc should not matter. No one wants to be told that there’s something wrong with them and most people resent it when others try to change them. Any attempts on your part to change your partner will be met with resistance. If you insist on pushing the issue, conflict and troubled times lie ahead.

Focusing on what you love about your partner will also get communicated to her in ways both obvious and subtle. You’ll find yourself flirting, teasing, and touching her more. All of the little things that women crave for their men to do will simply happen spontaneously. Your positive focus about her will make her happy, comfortable, and contented.

The law of attraction states that you get what you are paying attention to. So when it comes to your relationship, which part of the glass will you pay attention to? The half empty part, or the half full? The choice is yours.

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