An Easier Way To Get Your Ex Back
If you are like many people who are trying to get their ex back, your strategy is probably to try to talk over the problem that caused the break up.
After all, it’s the logical thing to do. There’s a problem that needs to be fixed, so you fix it. Guys especially have this type of problem solving mind set.
This direct approach is the only game in town that works if you’re dealing with inanimate things such as troubleshooting a software bug, designing a bridge, or repairing a car.
But in the land of relationships, this is not the best way to go.
Even the most analytical and rational person is first and foremost, a creature of emotion. We all are, and our relationships are defined and dominated by how we feel about our partner.
In relationships, emotions will always, always, win out over clear rational thinking. So before trying to address the actual problems that led to the break up, you need to focus on improving your partners feelings about you. This means working on improving your connection with your partner. When you have achieved this, then you’ll want to focus on what brought the two of you together in the first place: love and passion.
If you’ve got enough passion going, you’ll find ways to overcome even the biggest of problems. Conversely, if there’s no love or passion, you will fight over the smallest of things and they will seem insurmountable. Many conflicts have more to do with how you feel about each other rather than the actual problem itself.
- Make eye contact. Not any sort of eye contact will do because there are many different kinds. You don’t want to be glaring at your partner or squinting. You want to look at him or her in a way that is attentive, caring, and trusting.
- Use the right tone of voice. Like eye contact, there are many kinds of tones of voice. To establish intimacy, use a soft, gentle voice. Speaking gently doesn’t mean speaking quietly. Avoid monotone because this will make you seem bored or disinterested. It will also bore your partner.
- Don’t forget to touch him or her when you speak. Nothing is more effective at establishing intimacy than the power of touch.
So how do you increase your connection with your partner?
1.) Practice Empathy
When Your Partner Expresses A Grievance, You Need To Understand Where He Or She Is Coming From. Whether or not you agree isn’t the issue, you want to place yourself in your partners shoes and practice empathy.
By understanding why your mate feels this way you can communicate that understanding back to them. This will make him or her feel understood, that they are getting their point across. When your partner feels the barrier between the two of you melt away, he or she will start to feel a sense of connection with you again.
2.) Your Emotional State Is Important
If you are feeling hostile, angry, or any other negative emotion, establishing a connection will be impossible. These negative feelings are contagious and your partner will respond in kind starting a downward spiral. Remember that ones emotional state is communicated on many levels, such as tone of voice, body language, and facial expression.
3.) Match Your Body Language To Your Partners
This sends a subtle signal of being on their side which is received on an unconscious level. This technique is often used in interview situations but is also effective in connecting with your partner.
When you’ve succeeded in establishing a connection, negative emotions will calm down and barriers fall away. This opens the way to reawakening those feelings of passion again. Love will find a way to overcome the problems between you.
Looking for a proven method for winning back your ex, read my review of The Magic of Making Up.
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Comments on An Easier Way To Get Your Ex Back
i cheated on ma girl and we broke upbt i wnt her back badly
me and my girl been going out for 9 months we both 18 and last week she told me that she lost feelings for me and she wants too go back to being best friends again becuase i get jealous, we fight, things felt like there weren’t the same anymore, and i never trusted her *BIG MISTAKE*. Now i understood what i did was wrong i want another chance but she wont give another because she told me their is so much a girl can take and she got tired of my BS. i have this sinking feeling that i could of prevented this from happening and i feel bad she still wants to hang out with me , but i don’t feel ready too be friends with her we actually have something special. The thing i am worried about is i don’t want her too take interest in the wrong guy even though she has no interest in none at the moment anything can happen… i known her for 5 years almost 6 …i want her back and i don’t know any other way to do so i need advice? …do i still got a chance ?
@tyrone – I think your realization that not trusting her was a mistake is important and that you should use this insight in your future relationships as well. Each person that you meet should be treated as a separate case. Until they have actually cheated or left you for another man, you can’t assume or suspect that they will. Not trusting or not giving someone the benefit of the doubt at the outset will doom a relationship. If a person leaves you for another guy, no amount of distrust or control on your part would have prevented this anyway. On the other hand, if there was never any danger of losing her to another man, distrust and attempts at controlling her will only drive her away.
There is nothing you can do to MAKE her come back to you. What you can do is not burn any more bridges with her and remain her friend. With time, it may be possible start a NEW relationship with her. By this I mean a starting a new relationship from scratch where you use your charm and ability to connect with her emotionally. Whether or not this happens depends on circumstances and your NOT attempting to reestablish the OLD relationship.
There is no guaranty on getting her back because she may decide to move on and start seeing other guys, in which case, it’s her life and her choice. So remain friends with her but keep your options open with respect to other women.
Ok i understand how it feel to be in this iv been threw this many of times and am curntly going threw it right now iv got a way thats easyer then most others all info you find on this site and many others are infact true and relate to all of us im gonna leave a set that i use alot that always works over time;
! if she tells you she needs space/time apart ect. your probly going to
a. get mad n reason with hem or her
b. beg to her to take you back
or c.try to give her gifts
its not gonna work iv used this stratagy plenty of time after doing all the wrong things.after being told i need time apart i fought and beged and bought trying to get her back it didn work so i tryed some thing new and what do you no it work i simply tonlt her i was sorry about the way iv been acting and i understand she needed time apart and that i respected that and that no matter how much it hurt i would respect her by respecting that. by doing that it made her think and i didn speak to her for a few days and then she finaly talked to me by me saying that to her it confused her and flipped the tables to a hole new ball game and slowly but surely we got back together
lads, listen i know your all down but let me tell you something…we have to front like where the ones who dont need them trust me. Im going through a breakup with my gf rightnow and she pissed me the F*@k off. I cried, was depressed and wanted to beg her to come back. I relized, dont contact them and pretend u dont need them and they will come to you..TRUST ME. I did not contact her for 2 weeks and were starting to talk agian. my advice is play it like you dont need them, even tho we all want them back. show them they can bounce if the want too and you will be fine either way. DO NOT BEG, DO NOT CALL OR TEXT, DO NOT NOT NOT BE FRIENDS WITH THEM! when the contact, take a while to reply and give them answers that would come off in a way that shows she was never your gf. then when you guys start talking, arrange to hang, when u do, make it fun and dont bring anyting up. then near the end just straight up look her in the eye and be confident…tell her where u messed up and you see why she had to leave. tell her the breakup accomplished something cause you relized something
Ive been with my ex for 1yr and 4 months and we recently broke up because how ive been acting like getting mad and getting jealous. i have a little trust in her since she lost most of it by leaving me for someone else and then coming back to me but now we are not together anymore and she says that she doesnt want to get back with me because of the arguments for no reason and that she losing feelings.. The thing is that if i try to stop talking to her i just cant and i always go back to her but i want her to chase after me and to tell me that she wants to be with me again. Me and her still talk as friends and hangout but we act like were still together but when i ask her if were together she says no.. but for some reason it feels like we are and that she wants to be with me again but at the same time she doesnt.. i just want to be happy with her and i really want to change myself because im the reason why we argue.. i just need help or advice from someone for this kind of situation because im tired of playing games and her messing with my emotions.. i just want her back because i really love her.