An Easier Way To Get Your Ex Back

If you are like many people who are trying to get their ex back, your strategy is probably to try to talk over the problem that caused the break up.

After all, it’s the logical thing to do. There’s a problem that needs to be fixed, so you fix it. Guys especially have this type of problem solving mind set.

This direct approach is the only game in town that works if you’re dealing with inanimate things such as troubleshooting a software bug, designing a bridge, or repairing a car.

But in the land of relationships, this is not the best way to go.

Even the most analytical and rational person is first and foremost, a creature of emotion. We all are, and our relationships are defined and dominated by how we feel about our partner.

In relationships, emotions will always, always, win out over clear rational thinking. So before trying to address the actual problems that led to the break up, you need to focus on improving your partners feelings about you. This means working on improving your connection with your partner. When you have achieved this, then you’ll want to focus on what brought the two of you together in the first place: love and passion.

If you’ve got enough passion going, you’ll find ways to overcome even the biggest of problems. Conversely, if there’s no love or passion, you will fight over the smallest of things and they will seem insurmountable. Many conflicts have more to do with how you feel about each other rather than the actual problem itself.

So how do you increase your connection with your partner?

1.) When your partner expresses a grievance, you need to understand where he or she is coming from. Whether or not you agree isn’t the issue, you want to place yourself in your partners shoes and practice empathy. By understanding why your mate feels this way you can communicate that understanding back to them. This will make him or her feel understood, that they are getting their point across. When your partner feels the barrier between the two of you melt away, he or she will start to feel a sense of connection with you again.

2.) Your emotional state is important. If you are feeling hostile, angry, or any other negative emotion, establishing a connection will be impossible. These negative feelings are contagious and your partner will respond in kind starting a downward spiral. Remember that ones emotional state is communicated on many levels, such as tone of voice, body language, and facial expression.

3.) Try matching your body language to your partners. This sends a subtle signal of being on their side which is received on an unconscious level. This technique is often used in interview situations but is also effective in connecting with your partner.

When you’ve succeeded in establishing a connection, negative emotions will calm down and barriers fall away. This opens the way to reawakening those feelings of passion again. Love will find a way to overcome the problems between you.

Looking for a proven method for winning back your ex, read my review of The Magic of Making Up.

Related posts:

1. Building Trust: A Relationship Is On Quicksand Without It
2. Twelve Signs That Your Ex wants You Back